It is so easy to sit down and lament the past, for many it is beyond a past-time, they live in the past rather than appreciating the present. Neuroscience states that 90% of our thoughts today, were the same as yesterday, this means that living with anger, becomes amplified as you are firing and wiring the same synapses, which means you are strengthening that synapse – for simplicity lets call a synapse an emotional strand in your brain.
Neuroscience informs us that living with regret is detrimental to your mental health.
I believe it is a good thing to reflect on the past, to review decisions we may have made in an objective way.
When you review the past objectively, in a detached way you may discover that the experience which may have been BAD could have taught you an invaluable lesson.
I do believe that the most important thing that one can for ourselves emotionally is to change our attachment to the past. This sounds simple enough, however, if we have played the story inside our heads, time and time and time again, it has become a habit, all habits are a habit of behaviour or a habit of belief, this means that your belief of the even has now become an emotional habit – ingrained into your being.
An exercise that I have used with many, many people is to have them sit in a quite space, bring the event to mind and to observe what emotion arises – then question the emotion.
e.g:
WHY do I feel this way?
IS THIS EMOTION – benefiting me?
It’s important to write the question and answers down.
When coaching individuals, I ask my clients/patients to divide a page into 5 columns, in
column 1: write down the event/experience in brief.
column 2: the individuals involved in the experience in brief .
column 3: the emotion it elicited.
Column 4: WHY YOU are giving them the power. If you continually relive an event the other person is holding dominion over you.
Column 5: answer with a Yes or No.
Then review the emotion and ask yourself if having that attachment to the event supporting you? If it’s not supportive then write down how it is not supporting, you.
It is important that you hand write this down
When you physically pick up a pen and write both sides of your brain are engaged – this means both your emotional and analytical mind come into play.
Writing down “how this emotion is not supporting you” and engaging both your analytical and emotional mind will help you to disassociate the attachment to this experience. Review your notes daily for as long as it takes your conscious and unconscious mind to accept that this is not beneficial for you.
You will know when this is no longer of interest to you.
Burn this note and set the emotion free energetically.
If you would like to know more please feel free to email me I invite you to read my real life testimonials from many of my clients who have set themselves free to live life in the present.