Domestic violence refers to any form of threat—physical or mental—that causes you fear. As a survivor of spousal abuse, I know and understand the psychological warfare that goes on within yourself, more so when you know on an intellectual level that you should go yet somehow your emotions override your intellect.
This insidious cycle of domestic violence is repeated in most countries of the world, although the greater percentage of people never report domestic violence.
In Australia, we are fortunate to have so many support networks, including local police and neighbourhood community centres. However, the truth is that domestic violence cuts across all spectrums of society. It is not limited to any socio-economic class nor is it related to education.
So, why do you stay?
From my experience, studies and observations, I believe it comes down to two very important things going on in you/your mind:
- You have become familiar with this pattern of abusive behaviour; therefore, on an unconscious level it’s comfortable to stay. We absolutely know it’s not on a conscious level. Emotion will always override logic.
- You truly believe unconsciously that you are not good enough. Now, this may not be true on a conscious level, but deep down in your subconscious it’s a truth. This ‘truth’ may have been formed sometime in your childhood.
Consciously, you know that not being good enough may not resonate with you; you may be smart and intelligent; you may hold down a fabulous job or have a great career or you may be beautiful, healthy, fit and fun.
Outwardly, no one knows what’s going on in your world, and you certainly don’t want them to know because you will feel judged/inadequate/stupid/embarrassed and much more. So, you learn to play a role and then this role become familiar.
Many people will judge and say that you are in denial; however, this is not the truth, the truth is you do not know why you stay.
Interestingly, when I left my violent marriage I enrolled in a course conducted by Dr Robyn Norwood. In this class of 30 women, there were Bond University lecturers, television producers and many businesswomen. Domestic violence/spousal abuse cuts across all socio-economic classes, cultures, religions and genders.
Exploring your emotional centre
I know and understand that you can be helped. You are the master of your mind, yet you may not be the master of your subconscious mind which is the seat of your emotional centre.
We need to work with your emotional centre to find the root cause of why you remain in an abusive relationship. You may be surprised to know that many people, including myself, do not know why they stayed. In my own case, it was not until I understood how my emotional centre worked that I could fly free and become the ‘me’ that I was meant to be.
You can’t fix what you don’t understand!
Using Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT), my role is to help you to find the root cause of your beliefs within your relationship. Somewhere, somehow you may have acquired limiting beliefs about yourself which are holding you back from having a voice and setting yourself free from this cycle of domestic violence.
You are not alone!
Surprisingly, in Australia each state has its own laws relating to domestic violence. I find this remarkable when so many other countries have one law throughout the country. Having said that, our police force and community centres in Australia are exceptional, they are there to support you.
If you need help
- If you are in immediate danger, dial 000.
- If you are fearful, call your local police station or, if you are able to, drive to your nearest police station. If you have children, take them with you.
- If you need to speak with someone, call Lifeline on 13 11 14.
- If you would like someone to speak with to discuss your situation, please call your nearest community centre or women’s shelter.
How can RTT help with domestic violence?
Through RTT we can discover the root cause as to why you may believe that you don’t deserve better. Once we discover how, when and why you formed this limited belief, we can set about reprogramming your mind by installing new beneficial beliefs.
If you would like to know how RTT can help you and set you free, please contact me for a confidential 15-minute free session.
Note: I will be conducting workshops at no cost over the coming months.
To register your interest, please email me.