truth perception

Over the past 3 decades I have worked with people both privately and professionally in times of conflict which is generally over what one believed someone else had said, or after reading a report/text/email that may have been sent in haste where infliction is absent.

The two things that I say to everyone is this

“Your truth and your words only belong to you”.

There is “relative truth” – your truth, and “factual truth” – e.g. Fire is hot, water is wet. These are indisputable truths.

So next time you find yourself getting hot under the collar – please pause for a while and ask yourself – is this truth relative?

We have all heard that the authorities may call in multiple people who may have witnessed and event, the reason they do this is because there are many truths, and how an individual perceived what is fact is based on their field of experience.

Have you every watched a show like Master Chef, where one person passes on instructions, yet at the end the last person has an entirely different view or truth of what was said, the same is for Chinese Whispers – everyone will re-frame what was said based on their understanding of what was said, or what they perceived they saw.

Of course, if something is in writing – than it cannot be disputed.

In the past when I did couples counselling or workplace counselling I ask the individuals to put in writing what they perceive the issues is with the other party, I get both or several parties to do this before I set up a session to discuss the issue or conflict.  More importantly I do ask everyone to ask themselves what they perceive is their truth and ask the question “why”.

It was believed that the world was flat for hundreds if not thousands of years, Church leaders and community leaders believed this which meant that anyone who did not support their belief was a heretic and often jailed in the case of Galileo who was imprisoned for life. His truth was later found out to be indisputable.

So next time you are feeling hot under the collar, furious with your partner or colleagues – stop and ask yourself WHY you believe your truth is indisputable.

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